Unpublished Post IdeasPosted: August 18, 2011 | |
I have many ideas. I post once a week. Therefore I need to pick one of these ideas to use for a post.
The problem is, I am not 2DT. I cannot turn an idea like “sex hair” or “deep penetration” or whatever sex topic he’s talking about these days into a full-fledged post that’s interesting to read and fun to write. So while it may seem like I just need to roll a dice and randomly pick one of my drafts to complete and publish, LIFE AIN’T THAT EASY FOR ME.
And life has been so hard for me recently (what with going to Hawaii and all) that I haven’t had an open Saturday to muck around on the Internet and eventually pick something to write about at 1 am. So I decided, “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if I just wrote ALL OF THEM?” And thus this post was born. 
Post stats: 80% complete, 50% satisified.
I was reading my Railgun manga the other day when I came across one really annoying page that goes against everything Railgun stands for. The audience wants to see Mikoto kicking some level 2 ass, but the whole theme of the story/manga is “friendship and everyday life is better than leveling up.” Saten comes to the conclusion that powers are cool, but her level 0 self could still help out in important ways. The theme is heartwarming and everybody is nice and then you have Mikoto practically scoffing at the low levels of a bunch of thugs.
Bah! Something is wrong here.
And then I looked around my massive manga medley and spotted Eyeshield 21, a manga where power levels are determined by bench press and 40-yard dash stats. And then I thought of >9000 and felt that I could conjure up some more bullshit to add to these three manga and call it a full-fledged post!
However, when I sat down to write my bullshit, the bullshit became more shit than bull and I ended up with a bunch of nonsense. As much as I love nonsense, I’d like my posts to be somewhat readable/understandable, unlike J159 posts.
The bullshit in question:
Speaking of BL material, I bet there’s a thousand and one demoknights’ worth of fanart about Gintoki and Jiraiya already. The Gintama fangirls are a crazy lot. If fanart is any indication of the fanbase, then Gintama fans would be 99% female. And by that, I mean each fan is 99% female, 0.99% male, and 0.01% retard.
That kind of sounds like the Earth’s atmosphere. 99% Nitrogen, 0.99% Oxygen, and 0.01% I should have googled this. Don’t you feel sorry for plants, though? There’s 500 times more oxygen than carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, so plants must have a lot of trouble breathing. If plants were all humans and humans were all plants, we would have a lot of trouble breathing.
Redwood trees would be basketball players and baobabs would be McDonalds customers. Roses would be murderous prostitutes and rafflesia would be big, stinky otaku who sit around all day. Mikoto Misaka would probably be Yggdrasil or something because she is essential to the life of every living thing.
I have many opinions about Gintama, but none of them involve Yggdrasil and 0.01% retards. So instead of scrapping this work of art or posting this piece of shit, I decided to put the post in perma-draft purgatory. Until now that is!
“Anime Songs that Changed My Life”
or God Knows… and Rhythm Emotion and NICHIJOU
Post stats: 66.67% complete, 90% satisfied (initially), 33.33% satisfied (in retrospect).
Cheesy title deserves cheesy post. After a slew of really long posts, I wanted to go back to posting something in the vein of Things I Don’t Like About AnoHana, where my ideas came across in easily digestible bite-sized chunks. And since I was watching lots of ‘God Knows…’ videos on youtube, I thought that a brief song feature would be nice. Plus it gave me an excuse to embed a video.
But what eventually came out was a pile of rancid personal, meta, and unrelated garbage that took up 238 words. But I didn’t learn! No sirree! I took it one step further and wrote 324 words on Rhythm Emotion in an “Extra Post” (something not published on Thursdays!). This, too, was a crapfest of personal and meta and NO HUMOR.
But even then, I still hadn’t learned my lesson. I watched the second opening of Nichijou so much that Hyadain practically brainwashed me and forced me to mash his song and my previous two drafts together into one giant monster of a post that would be the lowest point of my aniblogging career. Thankfully, I broke free of his control before I managed to type anything about Hyadain Joujou’s bizzare adventure. But I’m sure that would’ve also been a mess.
When I go to sleep, I hook my phone up with the charger and place it on a desk next to my bed. The most important part is that it’s within reach, because I need to put all of the junk I think about on it, lest I forget by the morn’!
Some of this junk is one line long (see below for that). Other bits are more bots than bits and more outlines than bots. I’ve never liked writing outlines for essays, and writing outlines for posts is no different. But I just have to write them down, because Death’s brother always comes to whisk away all the brilliant ideas brewing in my mind.
Like fancy restaurants offer expensive appetizer sampler plates, I’m going to offer you a sampler of my thoughts. This is a journey into my brain, without the $20+ price tag that comes along with the mozzarella sticks!
Before the formspring question, there was the tiny note on my phone. Before the tiny note on my phone, there was Chantelise. I was super excited about Chantelise for no reason at all. I had played Recettear, but I thought Chantelise looked like shit. After finishing FF7: Crisis Core, I’ve also come to hate hack-and-slash games. Chante and Elise aren’t very cute or moe or kawaii and I don’t particularly like them.
Any way you look at it, Chantelise looks like a game I would really hate to play. But I bought it for $9 on Steam and played 6 hours of it. The graphics are shit-tier, and I’ve complained about the keyboard controls to many people. So the conclusion I came to is: I LIKE WEEABOO GAMES.
Well, sort of.
I played Perfect Cherry Blossom and Recettear for a semester, and I just recently played Saya no Uta… but that covers all the weeaboo games I’ve played. I haven’t found any of them amazing or surprisingly fun, but I did enjoy them. How people manage to play Touhou for so long and get so good at it is beyond me.
Another thing that’s beyond me is Monster Hunter. My friends in high school played it quite a bit, and once I got a PSP last summer, I went out to buy it. AND IT SUCKS. HOLY CRAP. I HATE IT. The tutorial is so long and I have no idea what the hell is going on. It’s so boring and not the least bit interesting, yet some people can play so much of it for some reason. Maybe if I completed the twenty-hour tutorial I would understand enough to play the game and finally enjoy it, but I don’t have twenty hours to waste!
(Originally titled “Metablogging Thoughts #1)
I was pretty excited about the potential of this idea for quite some time. A month or so ago, I was talking with J159 (or was it someone else?) about Sai-Mecha and how POINTLESS it was. And then I discovered Sai-Retro.  And now I’m voting in ISML and following Saimoe.
The tagline for this post was supposed to be:
It seems that if you add “Sai” in front of anything nowadays, it becomes a big, heated competition between stuff.
And I was going to go on and talk about how the OEG and the Aniblog Tourney could have benefited by changing their titles to SaiOtaku and SaiAniblog. It’s sleek and sexy and just weeaboo enough that the aniblog crowd can enjoy it. Besides, it sounds cooler.
But what does ‘sai’ mean, anyway? The only ‘sai’ I’ve encountered is the sai at the end of Sumire 16 sai!! and the pair of sai Raphael uses.
This lack of knowledge and my embarrassing lack of really good Mikoto pictures stalled the post until I finally decided that I wasn’t going to become Crazydave and browse zero-chan to find the pictures.
Addiction Levels of Games
(Or just “Addiction Levels in General”)
I was typing away at my Vacation post when I realized that my idea of a “anime, games, life, nichijou, etc.” blog was WRONG! It has become much more about anime than life, and much more meta than anime. Plus there has only been one post on gaming, and it was nothing more than a trollpost from a noob TF2 player.
To remedy this dire situation, I tried to expand on my ideas in the Vacation post because I didn’t think that faithfully explained how addicting Minecraft is. Here’s what I came up with:
Minecraft: end up mining shit for hours, not even building. Exploring caves and going around above-ground and finding lava pools and pumpkins is so fun! It’s five-hours-a-day during crazy homework/exam season fun!
Breaking point: server gets shut down. Nobody is online, either. Discover that digging holes in bigger holes (caves) isn’t productive (though making middle-earth is)
I went on to type similar bullet-point-length ideas for WoW, Runescape, Maplestory, and all the shitty games I’ve played in the past. And then, satisfied with my handiwork, I read what I’d wrote. Instead of conveying the excitement I get from looking at thousands of gray blocks, it seems like I conveyed my desire to look at blocks instead of doing productive work for the rest of my life. Instead of showing the exhilarating experience of fishing up Arthas’ gold coin from the fountain after ten hours of clicking one button over and over again, I seemed like a coin-fishing maniac.
But I guess that’s okay, too.
I also came up with a ladder of addiction comparing the addiction of different activities to each other. It went something like this: Minecraft = WoW > Maplestory > Runescape = Team Fortress 2 > Portal 2 >> watching anime >> anime blogging.
It goes without saying that Nichijou is not included under “watching anime.”
Rich Girls in Anime
(I need something here for the formatting to work)
If you’ve been following my blog (the two of you) or if you read my post last week, you’ll notice something strange. No, it’s not that I learned how to put these thumbnail-sized icons into posts to look cool, but thanks for noticing that!
It’s the repetition! “Addiction Levels of Games” came up because I talked about the topic in last week’s post. “Rich Girls in Anime” came up before that, and it somehow wormed its way into the same post.
While my phone-noting system has given me a couple of posts in the past, it has given much more off-topic ideas I can cram into other posts. I can only think of so many things on the fly, so I need a bank of moderately decently mediumly average ideas I can tap into in order to make an otherwise shitty post even shittier. And this is one of ‘em!
Rich girls in anime:
- snobby tsunderes (everybody in Hayate)
- light-haired ojou-samas, may or may not be yandere
As you can see, I did not develop this idea out very far. I probably got tired of thinking of stupid ojou-sama types and went to sleep. Ojou-sama characters are pretty annoying anyway. They have so much money and are so snobby and I want their money, damn it! Give me that money that you don’t deserve!
The typical rich, snobby tsundere ojou-sama goes through a tiny subplot of “I should stop depending on my money.” You see it in all sorts of anime, from Golden Boy to your average J.C. Staff RomCom to Code Geass. Except Euphemia kills people and Lelouch kills her. Did you know that Euphemia is supposed to be SIXTEEN YEARS OLD? Yeah, I thought she was 25 too. Women these days…
Useless Cool Things
(Physics is cool, but not useless!)
My friend sent me a physics-related video yesterday:
I watched it and thought that it was a bunch of sentences with “quantum” in it with Morgan Freeman on the side. While it’s super cool to see macroscopic objects exhibit visible wave-particle duality (or something that models it), Morgan Freeman was not necessary, and neither was the over-use of the word “quantum.”
I mean, “quantum particle” and “quantum object” essentially mean “small thing” and pretty much everybody believes in wave-particle duality now. This is like the Large Hadron Collider. Some crazy deep science stuff involving quantum bosoms and quantum hardons goes on, and everybody gets excited about it without knowing what anything actually does. But hey, it sounds all cool and scientific!
Other things that sound cool but serve no other purpose include:
- exclamation marks at the end of anime titles
- everybody saying aloha and mahalo in hawaii
- the big bomb in atom zombie smasher
- [colloquium] preceding post titles (synonymous with category)
I’m going to skip the first and third points because the former is self-explanatory and the latter is self-obscuritory. I’m sure none of you play Atom Zombie Smasher.
Aloooooohaaaaaaaa~! That’s what I heard dozens of times every day. And then MAHALO! It was pretty interesting the first time around, but then I got tired of it. Just like how I got tired of hearing about how girls in Hawaii and flowers in hair are related. Whenever I said “Thank you,” it felt awkward. And I never could say “mahalo” because my knee-jerk “thank you” came out first. But I’m sure it would have seemed awkward too.
[Extra post] and [colloquium] and whatever you want to precede your post titles with is completely unnecessary. Categories are there for categorizing posts, and tags are there for people who aren’t satisfied with categories. I can understand if you want a more bold, shocking title that people could see in Anime Nano, but this isn’t the way to do it! You should go at it with more flair. Use a title like:
ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ !!!~COLLOQUIUM /*SEXY*/ GIRLS HERE~!!! ಠ_ಠ *w*
I’m sure you’ll get a lot more views. I learned this from Artefact.
So while I have just a handful of half-finished drafts, I think of many quick, <=140 character lines that all get stored on my phone. But the problem is, TWITTER BECKONS! I have a lot of decent one-liners I’d love to shove and cram into my tight and sexy posts, but tweeting them instead of waiting for the weekly post is so much more appealing. And with my pageviews, I’m sure more people would see a tweet than one of my posts!
In any case, here are several that
were too crappy for twitter I reserved for good posts.
My face is too damn oily
It would be a holographic in a tcg
It feels like there are two Blastoises in my cheeks hydro pumping out copious amounts of oil. There’s probably also a Charizard pooping out blackheads from my nose, because my nose and cheeks are covered in little dragon-dropping lookalikes.
That moment in an anime when “shit gets real”
Lots of people say that Mami’s death in Madoka Magicka (which requires a godlike computer, by the way) was the turning point for the series. For me, the turning point was at the end of the final episode when I concluded that Madoka was never going to reach god-tier and lowered it to 8/10.
Generally speaking, I don’t experience these /moments/ of pure epic. Sure, shows like Death Note, Code Geass, and Gurren Lagann hurl suspenseful scenes at the audience, but none of them convinced me that they deserved the 9/10 and 8/10 scores I eventually gave. I had to do much retrospecting and prospecting and panning for gold before I could make up my decision.
There is, however, one exception: After Story. Nagisa’s death was emotional, but… actually, not really. Episode 18, where Tomoya is riding a train from his hometown with Ushio, is where it’s at. Tomoya has a series of flashbacks of Nagisa as tears stream down his cheeks. It was so silent and cut so deep that I was immediately swayed. But then the shitty deus ex machina ending made me hate KyoAni (and then Disappearance and Nichijou came along and KyoAni is once again the best animation company ever).
Anagram shameful otaku secret
Way back in 2009, I just got Twitter and was not using it as usual when I stumbled across an anagram maker. It had one input field and gave one anagram’d version of the input. Short and sweet and simple, just like me. I put in “Mikotoism” and got back “OK! I’m moist.” (what a shitty excuse for a nag a ram), but I put in “Shameful Otaku Secret” and an amazing arrangement of words came out. “Cute flashers make out.”
Why can’t my blog name involve cute flashers making out? I saw a shitton of prostitutes roaming the streets of Waikiki just a few days ago, so I’m sure I have more experience in flashers and whatnot.
>> But you’re a virgin, flomu!
Y-Yes, I am… I sure am… *sniffle*
Anagram ‘misakithursday’ —> ‘it is husky drama’
An addendum to my previous note. Husky drama is what this blog stands for! Let us husk the corn in the fields by day and type up scathing blog posts at night, snickering at the fools who read such shit!
But really, I don’t like drama all that much. I’m a nosy person with an interest in metablogging, so I guess it’s inevitable that I’d bump into dorama panorama every other post. But people think that I’m purposely inciting drama and fanning the flames. I saw a Samoan guy fan flames in a coconut that he cracked open with a rock earlier this week, and I sure haven’t done that before. I just speak my mind, and my mind often involves others.
My mind also involves girls a lot. There was this cute Chinese girl on my tour group in Hawaii, and I saw her at various destinations throughout my stay. There was another cute Chinese girl who turned out to be not so cute from the front and she was really tall, too. Like, my height. But considering I’m under the white/black/non-Asian average of 6’2″, that’s not saying much.
The GAMESTOP guy in the mall tricked me into paying $5 to preorder the DS browser.
I was naive and in 9th grade. Maybe I should have know better, at that age, but I was dumb, okay? I went to the mall and bought Mario Kart DS and the scamming fraud of a cashier said that the DS Browser was coming out. I had no idea what the DS Browser was or why anybody would want one, but he said it was only $5 so OKAY I’LL PREORDER IT!
And then I never got any notification from Gamestop that the DS browser arrived. Nor did I care. Why browse the internet on a tiny gaming machine when you have a desktop at home? Who would ever, ever use the DS browser? It’s not even Android!
- I remember watching nick teen/kids choice awards or some nick show where they brought in a jar full of toejam. Since I was an Asian child, I had no idea what the gunk in the jar was, or why so many people were shocked that one guy had been collecting the stuff for years.
Me and literary analysis
I wanted to write a post about my experience with literary analysis in aniblogging and in various English/humanities courses in high school and college. But then I decided that this post would be a lot more interesting. Both for me and for the two of you who’ve read this far.
My stance on “academic editorial blogs” like 2DTeleidoscope SnippetTee, and Altair and Vega is: If I like it, then I like it. If I don’t, then I don’t. But because the nature of these blogs makes them seem uninteresting to me, I lean more towards the “don’t” end. A lot of times, it’s because I don’t understand what the blogger is talking about… and this stems from my uninterest in the subject. (Circular reasoning, yeah!)
The few posts that interest me aren’t full-on essays that cover every angle. In his posts, 2DT introduces and explains one point. He doesn’t go too far to argue or explain this one point, and his posts are usually easy and interesting to read because they don’t try to cover too much ground.
On the other side of the line lies Moe Sucks, an example of the “academic episodic” blog. When E Minor (and co. but mostly just E “ten-posts-a-week” Minor) writes an episodic post, he starts off with a quick impression of the episode and/or the biggest point he wants to make and then goes on to focus on several important points. It’s organized and simple, and like 2DTeleidoscope posts, doesn’t reach too far.
tl;dr “Academic” blogs need to rein in the analysis. I can force myself to read and understand your posts, but if it’s not layman-level, I’m not going to be interested.
This also leads into…
Two years ago, 0rion posted the first known annotated blogroll and revolutionized the ‘sphere! Or that’s what I’d like to say. But annotated blogrolls have been around in one form or another (hover-text annotation counts!) for quite some time, and I wanted to jump on the bandwagon.
If you’ve noticed, I have one or two-word tags that come up when you mouse over the links in my blogroll. In the past, I tried to annotate that way… but now I need something more concrete. I need to explain to my readers why each and every blog on my blogroll is there and why it’s worth reading!
And with this enthusiasm, I’ll end this post. Because at 3900+ words and many hours spent typing, I’m beat. Plus annotated blogrolls are dumb.
1. You can probably guess that I’m not going to write 20 posts in the space of one post. There’s zettai no way karen children I’m going to do that, so I’m going to be metaing and posting at a ratio of 90%/10%. Or maybe 50/50. Who knows?
2. Despite how useless I think SaiRetro is, they’re not doing too well with only ten or so voters. So if you’re interested in that sort of stuff, so vote for Androids and Evangelions and Kasumis and Mistys over there. It’s painful to see a competition with such a small following. Hell, their twitter account has 30 something followers who aren’t voting. That’s sad! Ha ha hah! I’m sure SaiElectromaster would have had a much larger turnout. Of course, there would be only one round and one contestant, but that’s relatively irrelevant general relativity.